Yep |

Never forget. Bring home the boys. Bring home the bacon. Alright geeza.

Top Chumps

Top Chumps: Essex
Girls from Essex used to try and dress like they boarded with Tiggy Legge-Bourke and Sienna Miller at Heathfield St Mary's – Ugg boots, Barbour jacket, constant frown. Now they dress like they live in West Hollywood and have just signed a deal to release their sex tape with Joey Fatone from N-Sync. Meanwhile, Essex guys have swapped the Reebok Classics for designer plimsolls and XL Ben Sherman shirts for XS cleavage-hugging deep-V-neck Spanx for men, making them look like they bathe every night in a tub full of steroids. Here is a full breakdown of the stereotypical Essex look. Read more

I hate Jamie Oliver
Do you see that ominous, fleshy shadow on the horizon, bulging like an elephantine balloon full of half-digested cheesy-chips and flat Coca-Cola? That, my friends, is something called obesity, and one day soon it’s going to kill us all. We have one chance to avert this impending, chocolate-milkshake flavoured disaster. His name is Jamie Oliver, and he alone can hold back the tidal wave of mayonnaise that’s about to engulf the… Read more

Paul Morley gives his perspective on the new Spector video
And so to Spector, the latest collection of sharply clad young men to roll off a conveyor belt marked “the London indie scene” into a box marked “Big time?” Yes, Ma, the boys are growing up, becoming men. All that needs to happen now is the release of a thought-provoking video, one that finds favour with this island’s most decorated (with badges) music writer. Well, wouldn’t you just know, the Fiction Records five-piece have put out a moving picture to accompany their beguiling anthem “Never Fade Away” and here am I, the monkey at the keyboard, to say “Arise, Spector, and take your place in the pantheon of indie legends.” What… Read more