Charlie Sheen takes a moment from dominating life itself to cast his superhuman ears over the new Adele album

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Hi I’m THE Charlie Sheen and I’m here to tell you about a couple things. Are you sitting comfortably? Of course you are; you’re a member of the pale drifting world of the ‘normal’, your very being is a metaphor for safety and caution and fear and apathy – you’re the untermensch, a glorified fungus with less radical ideas per lifetime than a retarded sea cucumber. I soar majestically above your idle posture and safe government-approved entertainment choices, like a shaolin robotic eagle of the future riding a cosmic mercury surfboard on a tsunami so big it makes what happened in Japan look like a fart in a child’s pathetic paddling pool.

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Boris Johnson grapples with a Cambridge hip-hop album

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London Mayor (and Oxford classics graduate) Boris Johnson tackles the latest LP by Cambridge UK hip-hop outfit Delegates of Culture.

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James Corden digests a noise record

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James Corden tackles a collaboration LP between Norwegian noise overlord Lasse Marhaug and gauche Swedish-Israeli musician Dror Feiler, out now on No Fun.

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